I like my men purple and plastic.

Like many others, I’m single and didn’t have a date for Valentine’s Day yesterday. Even in past years when I did have a boyfriend though, I never liked when other girls would post mushy photos and updates on social media during V-day about how “they have the most amazing-est boyfriend in the world, OMG!” because he bought them some super expensive fancy thing. It puts an unfair amount of pressure on guys. I figured I’d have a little fun parodying that with a purple inflatable alien and the oh-so-romantic gifts of vodka and fast food. I documented the action live on Twitter and Instagram last night. So, meet Malcolm: my handsome and out-of-this-world Valentine’s Day date!

All photos were taken on my iPhone 5s.


This is Malcolm. He is my date for Valentine’s Day. Isn’t he super-duper handsome?


Awww! He even bought me something red to match my dress! He is such a sweetie!


He’s even picking me up so I don’t have to drive! What a gentleman!


And he bought me dinner too! This date night just keeps getting better and better!


And the night ends with cuddles at home! Thank you Malcolm, for the best Valentine’s Day ever!



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